Captain Bear Naked
CAPTAIN BEAR NAKED
a.k.a Captain Bare-Naked
First Appearance: Shadow (Flying Ferret#1) Revealed (Flying Ferret #2)
Real Name: Greg Barnsworth
Known Relatives: Unnamed brother (known as the Albino Minotaur, presumed deceased)
Group Affiliation: Cult of Kukukachoo (no longer active member), L.O.A.F. (disbanded)
Greg was already a nudist enthusiast before he became a nudist superhero. Though Greg enjoyed the attention given to his body, he felt he was destined for more. Therefore, he joined a cult (which he later quit because they were “selling tupperware and other weird crap”), and made offerings to the bear demon of Kuddlikoo to enhance his physical prowess and strength. Kuddlikoo, a demon stricken with attention deficit, agreed to give Greg what he asked for, but in return Greg had to wear a cowl honoring Kuddlikoo, be bare-naked (or lose his powers)…oh yes, and bring him a strawberry slurpee. Of course, the terms were easy for Greg to accept.
Greg donned the cowl of the bear and entered the fray versus evil…even though he just made a pact with a demon, but let’s not discuss contradictions.
Declaring himself Captain Bear Naked (or as the press occasionally misnamed him, Captain Bare Naked), he patrolled Megothamopolis’ largest park, Edgar Allen Poe Municipal Park. Protecting sunbathers and coming down on litterers and purse-snatchers.
Captain Bear Naked also had a brother who became the super-villain known as the Albino Minotaur (q.v.). Apparently, the Albino Minotaur made some proposal to Greg to aid in him in a life of evil, but apparently Greg refused.
Captain Bear Naked caught the eye of the group called L.O.A.F. (Legion Of Animal Friends). The group lasted only for a few months before in-group squabbling and Woodknocker’s hogging the limelight and taking credit for the group’s successes became too much. The group disbanded and Captain Bear Naked returned to the park to continue his patrol duties.
Everything was fine until he was mistaken for the Flying Ferret by the cyborg super-villain, Bee-O-Tron. Affected by CBN’s pronounced nudity, Bee-O-Tron could not fight back and CBN had the upperhand. Ultimately, the Flying Ferret was drawn into battle with CBN and the fight was nearly matched until the Flying Ferret figured out CBN’s weakness—his exposed genitals.
Flying Ferret stripped CBN of his cowl and the hero was sent skittering into the park’s bushes where he remained until he was called upon by Rabid Rabbit to reunite L.O.A.F.. Given a new cowl, CBN helped battle the Atomic Monkey, and then joined the Rabid Rabbit in the search for Rabid’s mother, which brought them in contact with Flying Ferret again at the Weaponsmith’s lab.
Shaken by his defeat by FF’s hands, CBN had difficulty joining in the tussle between Rabid Rabbit and Flying Ferret. Finally, making an emotional breakthrough, CBN fought back, only to be trapped by the Weaponsmith in a giant paradimensional beachball. With the help from a demon of Kukukachoo (which CBN recognized from his cult days), they escaped the beachball. After picking up a clue that led them to Weaponsmith’s and Prof. Brainfart’s lab on Mt. Bidet, they split up. Captain Bear Naked got lost in the labyrinthine hallways, and after battling some guard-bots, he found Prof. Brainfart in his destroyed lab, but no Rabid Rabbit, no Flying Ferret anywhere.
Grabbing Brainfart by his buttock-like head, he forced the villain to find an escape from the erupting volcano.
CBN’s current condition and whereabouts are unknown.
Powers: Captain Bear Naked exhibits incredible superhuman strength, speed and agility. He has a high resistance to impact and extreme pressure. He has keen hearing and smell, but doesn’t rely on them.
Weaknesses: Captain Bear Naked’s only apparent weakness is his exposed groin area.